" Walk up and down as though you are displaying clothes at a high-class dress show," she continued, "Then stop and face the audience with your feet apart and your hands on your head. Then turn round slowly and stop with your back to the audience. Next you bend down and touch your toes."Jacqui did as she was told, but Kate made her practice it several times before she was satisfied. Jacqui found the toe touching exercise very humiliating in front of this woman, but she had, as Kate had implied, done it all before, though only for men she had chosen."Now you can put your overalls on and sit down," said Kate.When Jacqui had put the overalls on and settled herself, Kate continued, "Jacqui, in the batches of prisoners that come to this god forsaken hell hole there are about six men for every woman, and not many of those women are as attractive as you. You need to convince the people here this afternoon that you are worth buying." Who might buy me?" Jacqui asked, since it probably would. He seems to have no pangs of guilt. I needed to think more; I needed to have a serious discussion with Robert. I also needed to understand better what was really going inside Robert’s head. Then I thought, I do not even understand what is going on inside my head! I was totally confused.Later that morning I called my ObGyn and got a prescription for birth control pills. I did not know what the future would hold, but it was clear that neither Robert nor I could be trusted to put these events in the past where they belong, and I knew that I did not have the physical or emotional strength to stop him from taking me whenever he chose. And I was not sure I could turn away from the pleasure my stepson gave me either.When I picked up the prescription over lunch, the pharmacist reminded me to use another form of birth control for at least seven days after starting to take the pill. Note to self, keep diaphragm in place whenever there was any risk or potential.Back in my office, I shut my door.
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